One day, in a human psychology class, a student asked me a question related to our daily experiences:
“Sir, why does the heart skip a beat, especially when you meet someone you’ve offended?”
My response was simple: The heart might skip a beat due to ambivalence, such as feelings of anxiety, guilt, and the fear of confrontation. These emotions trigger the body’s fight-or-flight response, releasing adrenaline and causing physiological effects like an increased heart rate and the sensation of the heart skipping a beat. This is a natural reaction to stress or perceived danger, preparing the body to handle the situation.
Furthermore, the body and the mind are interconnected. Emotional reactions often manifest physically. A skipping heartbeat is a reflection of how the body reacts to emotional challenges, demonstrating the profound link between mental and physical well-being.
Another reason the heart may skip a beat is the feeling of envy toward a friend’s success. Just seeing the person can create uneasiness. For example, some people feel overly uncomfortable when they see a friend’s new house, car, or successful business deal.
Additionally, others may become upset when they hear about a colleague’s academic achievements or the sudden elevation of a friend to a higher political office. This can lead to total resentment and even hatred for such a friend—an attitude fueled by envy that destroys good relationships.
Envious people often wish to control others in some way. Instead of sharing in the joy of a friend’s success, they may withdraw entirely. Although this is a self-centered mindset, it’s common for those who struggle with envy and a desire for power over others to experience such emotional reactions.
In this world, it is better to seek contentment than to compete relentlessly with others.
Research has shown that envious individuals may also engage in destructive gossip. They might pretend to be friendly but secretly align with others to plot harm, create division, and sow confusion.
We live in a world where some people actively seek negative information about others to use against them. It’s unsettling how people can appear kind yet harbour hidden resentment. The tension that arises from encountering such individuals can trigger the heart to skip a beat.
Conclusion
The only way to live a peaceful life is to let go of envy and pride. Recognize that you already have what you need and do not need to envy others. Understand your worth. Self-awareness of your uniqueness allows you to govern your life with positive affirmations. Even when envious thoughts momentarily cross your mind, brush them off quickly, knowing your value and self-worth.
Live a life of gratitude. Appreciate others’ successes while patiently waiting for your opportune time.
Above all, avoid holding grudges or harbouring enmity toward anyone. Maintain a clean heart and genuinely love people without resentment. When we live without fear, these emotional reactions lose their power over us.
Let love guide you in all that you do. When you make a mistake, quickly make amends, apologize when necessary, and move forward.
Finally, let go of narrow personal ambitions and focus on seeking the highest good for your friends and loved ones. I believe this response to a student’s question can help you live a life free of unnecessary tension.
The writer is an academic, visiting lecturer, leadership consultant, author, and the lead pastor of Wordsprings City Church, Kumasi.
Source: Dr. Patrick Owusu/Pastor/Author
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