By Kodwo BRUMPON
“There is no difference between growing old and living your life.” – Kenyan proverb
It is strange the number of people who strive daily to be anything else other than themselves. They seem to be constantly competing to detach themselves from their ‘selves.’ How they plan to achieve that, baffles life. Nevertheless, the swell of pretense should give us sleepless nights.
One of the greater gifts of life is the knack to face up to oneself. That is why it created diversity to adorn us with the power to face yourself as you really are, and along with it the freedom to become the person God created you to be. Sadly, our profession of diversity far outstrips our practice. We are quick to smell its essence, but slow to use it in cooking our attitudes.
Although one of the mantras for becoming successful entails faking it until you become it, being real is actually a very healthy practice. It is simply the act of being honest with yourself, your family, friends and even your foes. Being real with you is the point in life where you can say, “I really love myself for me.” The love for yourself is not because you are perfect.
It is you coming to the realization that you are a basketful of flaws and imperfections, but nevertheless you appreciate everything that makes you who you are. You learn to accept your doubts, your fears, your failures, your hidden iniquities and secret thoughts.
This does not mean you are only made of negatives. It is far from that. Often, you are already proud of your ‘positives’ and you will always continue to embrace them. We fake ourselves to be like others because we do not appreciate our flaws and negatives. Learning to embrace them will push us to work on ourselves rather than trying to hide them.
Being real entails knowing what you like about yourself, and what you do not like about you. Once you can do that, it energises you to love others for themselves. You do not always expect them to always get it right. Once you can forgive yourself for your mistakes and flops, it becomes easier to do the same for others. Being able to live to your face, empowers you to live courageously and to live with integrity.
Life, through the many events and interactions it offers you, shaped you the way you are. Thus, she is never embarrassed about you. She accepts you for who and what you are. What it seeks to do for you is to prompt you to work on your weaknesses, and your flops, so that you can always become a better you, and with a bit of sacrifice and hard work, the best of you. If you like what you see in the mirror, when you are by yourself, why do you mask it when you step out to interact with the world?
There is no need to pretend in this life because whatever you are experiencing, or have experienced, it has happened to someone else. The story is told of a pastor who once preached a sermon about the rape of Tamar, a story told in the second book of Samuel in the holy bible. After the service, he learned that there had been a young woman in the congregation that day who had just experienced the violence of rape. The preacher felt terrible. He sought out the young woman with apologizes. Instead, she said to him; “I wanted to thank you for telling that story. It’s helpful to me to know that my story is in the Bible.”
Our stories are the stories of other people. Life is the sum of these stories. It is a narration of good people and bad ones; of people who are faithful, and those who are not. We even have narrations about individuals who appear strong but turn out to be weak; and those who make promises and never fulfill them.
Whilst there some about people who look like crazy, but have the most humble attitude. There is even a story about a man who learned to live, but never lived. In short, life is full of all kinds of people, even ones you cannot imagine. What she seeks from you is your authenticity. She wants you to live like you and not as someone else. Otherwise, you would have been created like the other person.
Life measures your efforts by the hurdles you must overcome, rather than the end of your achievements. So the most important step you and I can take towards making our lives meaningful is to be real with ourselves. Our uniqueness is a wonderful asset to life. Why do we deprive life of us, and instead strive to imitate someone else?
You make yourself sick in the process and minimize your worth over the long run. On the other hand, when you are you, not only does the world see you for who and what you are, but you also begin to see others for who and what they are. When you are honest with yourself, there is no way you are going to be dishonest with the world. Therefore, show the world the real you, and the world will be real with you.
__________________________________________________________________
Kodwo Brumpon is an executive coach at Polygon Oval, a forward-thinking Pan African management consultancy and social impact firm driven by data analytics, with a focus on understanding the extraordinary potential and needs of organisations and businesses to help them cultivate synergies, that catapults into their strategic growth, and certifies their sustainability.
Comments, suggestions, and requests for talks and training should be sent to him at [email protected]
