Many people believe there are no shortcuts in life. They insist success must always come through relentless, painstaking and long-winding efforts, often believing success is always achieved ‘the hard way’. This belief is often romanticised as the noble way to achieve greatness.
But I disagree. I believe there are shortcuts and pathways that allow you to avoid unnecessary struggles and still achieve your goals. And no, I am not talking about cutting corners or sacrificing ethics. I am talking about strategic efficiency, about leveraging existing knowledge and experiences of others to save time. Time is a finite resource, yet so many waste it unnecessarily.
One of such proven shortcuts is mentorship, others include is technology, marriage, et cetera. Today, I focus on mentorship as a short route to success. Mentorship is not a luxury; it is a necessity. Think about it: the road you want to take has been travelled by countless individuals before you.
They’ve fallen, risen, navigated through storms, and reached the destinations you’re now aiming for. These people have become custodians of wisdom—wisdom that can collapse decades of trial and error into short moments of clarity. Mentorship offers you access to their maps, their compass, and their hindsight, all of which can transform your journey. Many young people know this yet fail to seek it out, unfortunately. Why? Is it pride, ignorance or a misguided sense of independence?
A mentor is not just someone who advises you; they’re a living embodiment of the lessons you need. They’ve experienced the terrain you’re about to explore. They have already fallen into and learnt lessons from the pitfalls you might stumble into. They have mastered the strategies you’re struggling to develop. A mentor can help you bypass years of aimless wandering. Imagine condensing 30 years of wisdom and experience into 30 minutes of life changing lessons. That’s the power of mentorship.
There are two forms of mentorships (a) direct and face-to-face (b) distant. The face-to-face mentorship is where the mentor is physically reachable. It involves regular, in-person interactions, allowing mentees to access their mentors at the workplace, offices, church or community settings.
This personal connection is important for gaining practical guidance, tailored advice, and constructive feedback. A face-to-face mentor, such as a parents, senior colleagues, supervisors, or industry experts, provides insights into navigating professional challenges and achieving long-term career goals. How do you get such people to mentor you? Walk to them directly and humbly ask them to mentor you.
Distant mentorship, in constrast, is even easier to cultivate, thanks to technology that allows connections with mentors from across the globe. You receive mentorship from distant mentors through their books, podcasts, YouTube videos, speeches, and articles.
These outlets provide an unparalleled opportunity to gain wisdom and knowledge from experts and thought-leaders beyond one’s immediate environment. Personally, in Ministry work, my distant mentors are Joel Osteen, Apostle Joshua Selman, and Pastor Mensa Otabil. Over the past fifteen years, I have consistently listened to their teachings and read their writings. Not a single day passes without me reading, listening or watching their messages.
Despite never meeting them in person, their depth of knowledge has profoundly shaped my perspectives and approach to life in many ways. Who are your distant mentors?
To truly benefit from mentorship, you must start by seeking it intentionally. This is where many fail. They either wait passively for mentors to appear or approach them with a sense of entitlement. Mentors are not obligated to guide you. They have their own lives, challenges, and goals.
To gain their attention, you must prove that you’re worth their time. This means coming prepared, showing genuine interest in their work, and articulating why their guidance matters to you. But also, be mindful of the power dynamics in the relationship. Mentorship inherently comes with an imbalance: the mentor has the wisdom and experience, the mentee has the thirst to learn. Recognising this dynamic is critical to avoiding unhealthy dependencies.
A mentor is not there to do your work for you. If you approach a mentor expecting them to do your work, you’ve misunderstood the entire concept of mentorship. I share this personal experience. Last year, like many other years past, about six young writers approached me for mentorship.
They were eager, passionate, and full of potential, so I accepted the opportunity. They next moment, instead of seeking advice and direction, they were sending books, articles and drafts they had written for me to edit and proofread for them. In fact, one of them, a master’s students, even sent me his assignment and project to do them for him.
Why would a mentee give work to their mentor? I thought the reverse should rather have been the case. The mentor should rather be sending them scripts to edit and proofreading so that they could learn while doing it. Though their initial enthusiasm seemed genuine, their approach was clearly misguided.
Eventually, the relationships strained and fizzled out. It’s been over five months and I’ve not heard from any of them. There was no way this relationship was going to survive with such approach. They missed the point of mentorship: to learn, not to delegate.
I must add that as a mentee, your primary responsibility is not to impress your mentor with how much you already know but to demonstrate a genuine willingness to learn and grow. Mentorship is not a competition of knowledge or achievements; rather, it is a collaborative relationship built on trust, humility, and openness.
The role of the mentee is to approach the relationship with curiosity, genuinely seeking guidance and being receptive to constructive feedback. By focusing on your growth areas and acknowledging gaps in your knowledge and experience, you create opportunities for the mentor to provide tailored advice that can propel you forward.
Mentors value mentees who are teachable, eager to explore new perspectives, and committed to implementing lessons learned. A mentee who listens attentively, asks thoughtful questions, and reflects on their mentor’s guidance is likely to learn more from the relationship. The true measure of success in a mentorship relationship lies not in how much you know at the start, but in how much you are willing to grow throughout the journey.
Before reaching out to a potential mentor, understand their work, their values, and their achievements and ensure they align with yours. A mentor-mentee relationship thrives on shared ideals. I recall an instance a last year when a young man approached me, seeking mentorship. He said, “Even though I don’t agree with everything you write, I want you to guide me to become a good writer.”
While I appreciated his honesty and agreed to mentor him, the relationship barely lasted 24 hours. There was no conflict or animosity, but the fundamental misalignment in our perspectives made it impossible to establish a meaningful connection. No mentor wants to go back-and-forth with their mentee. For the past 15 years that I have followed Joel Osteen, Apostle Joshua Selman, and Pastor Mensa Otabil, I have agreed with everything they have said on the pulpit.
It is not that they are infallible, but that their teachings and perspectives consistently resonate with my own values and beliefs. Whatever they say often reflects what I, too, would say in similar circumstances. This alignment has sustained the relationship and made it effective, even from a distance. Though mentorship is not about blind agreement, you will almost always find yourself naturally agreeing with everything they say because the values and ideals you share are the same/similar.
Understand also that a mentor doesn’t take action for you. They share insights, guidance, and encouragement, but the responsibility for taking action lies squarely with you. Mentorship is not a magical solution that replaces hard work; it is a tool to empower you to navigate challenges and opportunities more effectively.
Think of mentorship as a torchlight—it provides clarity, direction, and focus, but it does not move your feet. The walking, the perseverance, and the execution are entirely your responsibility. A mentor can help you see possibilities, but the transformation of those possibilities into realities depends on your effort, discipline, and determination.
Many people mistakenly approach mentorship as if it were an effortless pathway to success, expecting the mentor’s wisdom to do the heavy lifting. This misconception often leads to disappointment because no amount of advice or guidance can substitute for the grit and resilience needed to achieve your goals.
Mentorship relationships naturally evolve over time. As you grow in knowledge, skills, and accomplishments, the initial mentor-mentee dynamic may shift. You may find yourself transitioning from being a mentee to becoming a peer, colleague, or even surpassing your mentor in specific areas of expertise.
This evolution is not a signal to sever the relationship but rather strategically turn it into a meaningful partnership, or strategically move on to other mentorships that commensurate with your new level. A true mentor celebrates your growth and success, viewing your achievements as an extension of their own impact.
Similarly, as a mentee, your respect and gratitude for your mentor should remain steadfast, regardless of any changes in status or professional standing. While the guidance you once sought from your mentor may diminish as you develop your own expertise, the relationship can mature into a collaborative exchange of ideas. In some cases, you may even become a support system for your mentor, contributing to their growth as they once did for you.
Let me conclude with this critical principle: when you finally reach the heights you aspire to, never stab the back of the mentor who once guided you. The mentorship relationship is often forged through the mentor’s investment of time, energy, and wisdom in your growth. To backstab a mentor—whether through disrespect, disloyalty, or undermining their reputation—represents a serious breach of trust, and sometimes, even attract curses.
Such actions erode the very foundation of integrity and character that mentorship aims to instill. Achieving success does not diminish your mentor’s role in your journey; instead, it amplifies the gratitude and honour you owe them.
Success should inspire you to uphold the principles your mentor taught you and to extend the same grace to others as your mentor extended to you. Never let ambition blind you to the importance of loyalty. You might need them again oneday.
Thank you for reading today’s episode. Continue to follow the insightful articles I share on this page.
See you.
Writer: Daniel Fenyi
The writer is a licensed counselor, educationist, professional writer and career coach who guides young people through his writings. You can reach him via email [email protected]
