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Useless Column: ‘Go and shout’

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Like joke like joke, this February is beginning to copy January o. Up till now, we are still not up to February 15 mpo! Or maybe I am the only one with this ‘condition’. It is weekend again and please don’t go and look for problem for yourself, Eddie who keeps telling yourself: ‘This weekend, I go chill roff’! It is not the most important thing. You can happy yourself by doing so many things.

Once in a while, just confuse people by going to Abossey Okine or Suami Magazine and ask of where they sell the fried yam with okro soup. As the people you are asking get an initial shock and wondering if everything is okay with you, Eddie, so shall it be with you and then as they start giggling, you start laughing too. The other way to make yourself happy is to go to any of the malls and ask for where they sell charcoal and corn husk. You can even get to any airport and tell the security personnel on duty that you want to travel from the airport to Amasaman or Kasoa. If you are lucky, they would laugh at you small and then you too would laugh back. If not, they would look for the nearest psychiatric facility to help you manage your ‘condition’. Bra Eddie, trust me, you would be very happy as they think there is something wrong with you but you are the only one who knows that there is nothing wrong with. They would even give you a free ride to the eyi. Be alert like the goat when crossing the road o. Their BWM brakes are so sharp no vehicle ever touches them. It is mainly dogs that have such experience and I learnt usually the dogs that get knock downs are usually the stray ones which are not very normal and sometimes with rabies. Vaccinate your dog o, yooo!

Life can be interesting if you follow the ten commandments. Looks like many medical doctors should have their names preceded by ‘Dr. Moses something something’. ‘Thou shall not eat in the night; thou shall exercise every day. Thou shall not drink milk when old’. Ah! When I couldn’t afford milk as a child, I didn’t enjoy. Now that I can afford milk as an adult, they say ‘thou shall not…’ We taya sef! Good morning o, Dr. ‘Moses’ Sammuel Amoah.

Okay people, let’s do non-fa to charge up against the weekend la ah! Hahahahaha! When you visit another town and see a beautiful lady vibrating from behind and in front, please don’t ever think that the men in that town don’t know what a ‘beautiful lady’ looks like though some may say beauty lies in the eyes of a beholder. When you are drunk, everything looks beautiful. Beware though! Those of us who travel on trek and would not focus on what we were sent there in the first place to do, let us be more careful.

You remember that my experience some 8 years ago in Sunyanni? I was on an official trip and had two hotels recommended for me– Yusbet and Tyqo – beautiful world class hotels. The rates were relatively and naturally high but they had value for money. Oh my world! Money would be sweet ooo. I didn’t want to spend so much because I wanted to use part of my per diem to buy cement; I settled on a guest lodge where I spent only GHC20 per night. Wow! I was going to make some good savings, you know.

The atmosphere was serene and quiet. I slept but was warned never to turn the air-condition on. Oh why?  I asked! I was told, in fact warned, that I’d paid for only ceiling fan and not AC. Ei!

Meanwhile I needed to be in the best frame of mind to attend a conference the following day.

Hmmm! I switched the ceiling fan on! That was when I realized that cheap things are really expensive. The sound from the ceiling fan was like that of a Boeing 777 taking off at Heathrow Airport.

I kept quiet. Now I wanted to take my bath! No soap. The T-roll was as hard as cement paper. I managed it pretending to be ok. I wanted to go for a refund but I overheard the attendant telling her Manager she had used the money I had paid to buy prepaid as soon as she received payment from me.

I called a colleague who lodged at Yusbet and could feel he was in heaven. I lied to him I was also having a good time even though I was suffering.

I managed to sleep small in the night because the mosquitoes in the hotel room were specially trained to bite only stingy people. I was rudely woken up in the morning to come and take breakfast otherwise it would get finished and the girl on duty needed to close! What crime!

I took my bath and patiently went to sit for breakfast that was ready.

The slices of bread were two. Milk was measured in some small cups. Sugar would have to be served by the small girl attendant. I wanted some more milk and was told there is a provision store nearby. I should go and get some and add it and that the hotel had exceeded its limit on me alone; after all I paid only GHC20. Ei!

Well, we met at the conference venue that morning. My colleague looked refreshed and appeared like a human being but for me, far from that!

It was then I realized that my company had a good reason for giving me more than enough to accommodate me at Yusbet or Tyqo but because I wanted to save so much, I ‘chiselled’ myself out. Parsimony no good oo!

Where was I 3h3rn! My colleague came to narrate how well he was treated at his hotel with gym facilities as well as time in the swimming pool. Breakfast was in abundance with a variety of eatables you can’t eat. For me, even my bath tub leaked with some green green things around! Aish!

The body and soul need to be accommodated in a good environment provided that environment gives you value for money.

Sunnyayi may not necessarily be one of the most talked about regional capitals but it certainly has some of the most beautiful ladies. H333r! If in doubt, just pay a visit to ‘Sweet Touch’ Restaurant and just observe things for yourself. There is hope for the future sitting at Sweet Touch for only 10 minutes – the decent ladies you cannot count. But the thought of old age approaching makes me shiver sometimes as….! Man can only observe and nothing else.

In the Bible somewhere, I read that a shepherd generally gets more worried when one sheep is missing and would go and look for it and he becomes happier when he finds it in addition to the 99 he left behind to go and look for that single one. And it came to pass that there was an ‘act of God’ in some countries this week. Various media local and international gave different accounts of the number of people who perished as a result. May their souls rest in peace. Interestingly, the world’s attention is more on getting one person rescued alive and to safety though an estimated 11,000 persons were suspected to have perished already with several others injured. As for those who cannot be found, God, we look to you to do your miracle again oo. The whole world virtually went down their knees praying that that one person should be rescued safe and alive. The night of February 6th was not too pleasant as many of us could not sleep especially with conflicting news: ‘oh yes, he has been found – alive but injured’. ‘No, rescue efforts are still being made to get him out of the rubble’. ‘Oh, he wasn’t the one we thought was the one rescued’. Ah! Which is which? As of press time, hmmm! I just realized how important it is to excel in whatever we do (Daniel 6:3). God, please do your miracle again o because we look to you as Whitney’s song, ‘We look to you’ says. Let us continue to pray that God will bring him back to us healthy and fit in Jesus’ mighty name! Amen!

Have a nice weekend and remember to continue with the prayers; God can do it! Amen!



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